DON’T PLAY THE SHAME GAME
SHAME
The ideal “Me” vs. the “Me” I’m stuck with
· Unwanted Identity
· I’m different
· I’m not respected
· I’m flawed, exposed
Cultural Shame
“One Thai word for shaming means “to rip someone’s face off” such that they appear ugly before others” (Jason Georges)
THE REAL ME
Ephesians 1:4 Long ago, even before he made the world, God chose us to be his very own through what Christ would do for us; he decided then to make us holy in his eyes, without a single fault - we who stand before him covered with his love. 5 His unchanging plan has always been to adopt us into his own family by sending Jesus Christ to die for us. And he did this because he wanted to! The Living Bible
Here’s how shame gets in the way of doing life
Shame as a Weapon
· Shaming them to change
We cannot survive when our identity is defined by or limited to our worst behavior. Every human being must be able to see the self as complex and multidimensional. When this fact is obscured, people will wrap themselves in layers of denial in order to survive. How can we apologize for something we are, rather than something we did? Harriet Lerner
For people to look squarely at their harmful actions and to become genuinely accountable they must have a platform of self-worth to stand. Only from the vantage point of higher ground can people who commit harm gain perspective. Can they apologize”. Harriet Lerner
· Shaming them to conform
· Shaming through labeling
· Shaming through criticism
John 8:7 And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. 9 But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. 10 Jesus stood up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” 11 She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.” English Standard Version
My real identity comes from God and what He says about me.